Why Do You Find It So Hard To Love Me?
by DeathByOTP
Summary: Dean is upset with Cas, Sam tries to keep the peace, but everything works out in the end.
Cas entered the bunker, as soon as Dean laid eyes on him he left the room. Sam noticed Cas' face drop, he draped an arm around his shoulders.

"I'm sure he will get over his mood don't worry Cas" Sam squeezed Cas and gave him a sympathetic look.

"Dean doesn't want me here I should go"

"No there's no need for that, I want you here and so does Dean really, you know what he's like"

"I don't know Sam"

"C'mon Cas, I've just made some coffee and erm..." Sam wracked his brain for a way to get Cas to stick around, "Besides I was hoping you could help me translate this book I found, I think it's in enochian, if you don't mind?"

"Of course I am willing to help Sam" Cas smiled a little, Sam truly did have a kind heart.

Dean sat in his room, why did Cas have to just show up here? After all he had done, how could he just show up like nothing was wrong? Sure it was a while ago but he worked with Crowley, he lied to him, he stayed in Purgatory. Sam always told him that Cas always tried his best and he didn't mean harm, but that's easy for Sam to say, Sam didn't have the same bond with him that Dean did. Dean couldn't understand the bond fully, why did it all hurt so much that Cas lied? Screw it, he really needed another beer.

Dean made his way to the kitchen, on the way he passed Sam and Cas both leaning over a book at the table. Dean watched out of the corner of his eye, Cas was closer to Sam than usual, what was he trying to do? Get a 'bond' with Sam now he was mad at him? He couldn't stand there and watch it, before he knew what he was doing he barked out, "Sammy, beer run, I can't drive had one already"

"Don't ask politely or anything Dean" Sam responded sarcastically.

"Look Sammy, I'm not in the mood for arguing just get me some beer please" Dean added the please through gritted teeth.

Sam rolled his eyes "I'll be back soon Cas, don't go anywhere okay? I think we're really getting somewhere with this" Sam smiled at Cas again reassuring him it was okay for him to be there no matter how Dean was behaving. Cas nodded back as Sam left the room.

When the bunker door closed Dean stormed over to Castiel, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I don't understa..."

"Don't give me that crap, you want a 'more profound bond' with Sam now? Is that why you're fawning all over him?"

"I am not fawning over anyone Dean and that is not how bonds work, I thought you understood our bond was special but clearly you don't"

"I don't understand it's special?" Dean nearly shouted in disbelief, "You betrayed me, so don't you lecture me about not understanding, you don't betray people you care about"

"I have apologised many times Dean, need I remind you that you have wronged me too? You kicked me out when I had nowhere else to go, you turned your back on me when I rebelled against everything for you."

"I had to!"

"But you didn't care"

"I always cared about you Cas"

"That's a damn lie" Cas banged his fist on the table as he rose from the chair. "You didn't give me a second thought"

"How the hell would you know? You were too busy play fighting with other angels to care about me" Dean knew he was being unfair but he couldn't stop himself, he was so frustrated and he couldn't hold it in.

"Play fighting? The war in Heaven was a play fight to you? Angels lost their lives Dean, my brothers and sisters"

Dean felt guilty instantly. "No Cas I didn't mean that I'm just, I'm just, I don't know"

"What don't you know?"

"Why it hurt so much when you betrayed me"

"Dean I never meant to"

"But you did it anyway"

"Dean that was a long time ago, I never meant to hurt you, deep down you know that"

"I don't know anything anymore Cas"

Something ignited in Cas and he flipped "How can you not know Dean?" Cas roared, he grabbed Dean and slammed him hard against the wall. "How can you not know what I feel for you? I have tried and tried to show you Dean. I don't know if you just pretend you don't know or if you're really that clueless"

"I...I don't know" Dean stammered, he was taken aback, Cas had him pinned to the wall with no effort. It was a reminder that Cas was a celestial being and he was full of power, more than Dean could possibly imagine, "How do you feel Cas?"

"I love you Dean, I always have, but why do you find it so hard to love me?" His voice was still raised and he was on the verge of tears, his blue eyes started to fill.

"I don't find it hard Cas"

"What?" Cas loosened his grip on Dean and instead held him more gently.

"I don't find it hard to love you, I find it far too easy that's the problem."

"I don't understand"

"It's 'cause I was so let down because I care about you so much so when everything went wrong I guess I just assumed it's 'cause you didn't care about me"

"Dean that's not true, I care about you more than any other human on this planet. I would give up everything for you"

Dean was lost for words so he responded the only way he knew how, he raised his hands to Cas' face the best he could and pulled him into a kiss. Cas kissed him back ferociously, he had Dean pinned to the wall again but with his entire body leaning into him trying to get more contact. They broke for breath briefly before hands wandered under layers of clothing, their breathing became ragged and the kiss became increasingly heated, both men were putting all the pent up emotion into it. Neither men heard the bunker door open, Sam walked in to see his brother pinned to the wall making out with an angel, he giggled slightly and cleared his throat, they quickly sprung apart both red faced.

"Don't worry guys I'm happy for you, I was starting to think it would never happen. But please get a room" He laughed.

"Yeah c'mon Cas let's erm, leave Sam to it" Cas started to head to Dean's room.

"Dean will be with you in a sec Cas just gotta ask him something" Sam shouted after Cas, when he was out of earshot Sam turned to Dean "Dean he really cares about you, I know you care about him too so please don't screw it up, you both deserve to be happy so make it happen" Sam clapped a hand on to Dean's arm and shot him a grin.

"I'll try my best to treat him well Sammy"

"Better do Dean, you may be my brother but he's family now so I won't hesitate to kick your ass if you ruin it" Sam smiled and spoke as if he was kidding but Dean was pretty sure Sam meant it. "Now you'd probably better go after him, don't keep him waiting too long" With a wink from Sam, Dean ran after Cas. Sam dropped back into the chair and opened a beer, he knew one thing for sure, tonight he was sleeping as far away from Dean's room as he could.


End file.
